My Response to Anonymous

Anonymous,

Thank you for commenting. I appreciate the fact that we have free speech and you're entitled to having your own opinion. I think, however that you may have misunderstood that this was not a rant about the sin of others, but a sharing of my heart and the burden and questioning I have felt in grappling with these situations (along with various other situations and events around the world). I'd like to address a few issues that you brought up. 

Never did I call anyone out on sin. In fact I almost changed the name of the post to "heartache and evil in this world" immediately after I posted since I never really touched on the idea of sin.  The only mention of sin is that evil entered the world because of sin. You are, in fact the one who named my sister and the two teachers as having sinned. Personally, I think that is between each of them and God. 

I did say I have seen devastation in the world around me due to wrong choices.

I did say, "how can normal people make such wrong choices?" and in this case I was thinking of my friends that are teachers and their situations.  I do not think it was too bold to imply a sexual relationship with a child is wrong. I cannot think of anyone who would not agree with the immorality of a sexual relationship with a child. Pertaining to these situations, I have wondered what my friends have struggled with and how they must have been hurting to lead them to make a choice like that. I have wondered about their husbands and if their marriages will be reconciled.  I hurt for them and for the hurt that has been multiplied to all involved. 

You have attacked me as if my whole post was about my sister but this actually had nothing to do with Jessica. I simply mentioned that I had a similar time of questioning and soul searching when she was sick. I neither said nor implied any of those horrible things you assumed I think. I also have not thought or felt those things personally. I do not appreciate you telling me what I think. Ex: you think God is punishing your sister.  No actually I don't.  My sister and I have a great relationship and you should read the things we have written regarding each other on our blogs. Here, here and here. 

Regarding your comments on sin being sin and equal: I agree that all sin is equal in God's eyes and it separates us from God.  We ALL have sinned and continue to mess up (see Romans 3:23). On earth we do not always see the consequences of some sins, others we do.  Other times God waits until the day that person stands before him, giving the person every chance to turn from a life of sin. I would never presume to name something specifically as being the punishment of God.  I am not God, nor do I pretend to be. Only he holds the power to judge and punish. My post was not judging anyone, but your comment is full of judgements and assumptions about me, my relationship with Jessica and my theology/beliefs. 

I agree that God is good and wants good for people. When a person asks for forgiveness, God removes their sin "as far as the east is from the west" and justifies them in his eyes. God freely forgives and loves. "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9 NIV)

Theoretical question: Suppose a man kills your mother in a burglary. You go to court to see justice done. Evidence is presented and the man is guilty without any doubt. When time for the judge to make a judgement, he announces that the man simply gets community service and is free to go. You protest but the judge explains that all crimes get the same equal consequence to be fair because all crimes are equal. Is this judge good and just? No, obviously not, but according to your statement this would make the judge "truly just." This would not ever be true justice. 

I agree that one of the deepest human needs is to love and be loved. I am so thankful for a loving and compassionate God that has forgiven me of all of my sin and failures and continues to do so. In the case of my sister, I was among some of the first people she told and I have been nothing but supportive and loving towards her. I think she is amazing and brave (as I've said many times). 

In regards to the two teachers: I clearly stated that they are friends and have been since childhood. They still are.  If I were living locally, I would be reaching out in more tangible ways than just through email. I wish so badly to just hug them! In fact I have had this post floating around in my head for a week but couldn't gather my thoughts until the 22nd, which is one of these women's birthday.  I prayed she would have a stress-free, joyful birthday despite all that is going on. 

Why do bad things happen to good people? This is a common question that baffles our human mind. You must have assumed that I was not including my teacher friends in with the "good people" part of this question, but I did. They are good women, excellent teachers and wonderful moms! 

I am genuinely sorry for the hurt and pain you have suffered in the past that was made worse by people who claimed to be Christians.  I am sorry that they made you feel you were terrible and unlovely. If they made you feel like that then they were not responding as Jesus would have. Unfortunately, this happens often in this fallen world. I wish with all of my being that this was never the case. 

My hope is that this further explanation would clarify some of my thoughts in my post. 

Heartache and Sin

My heart is aching. 

There has been much tragedy recently among people I know, as well as devastation due to wrong choices. This has caused me to reflect on and evaluate life, faith and this world. I have been in a sort of crisis of faith. Not in the sense of losing my faith in God but in wrapping my mind around how these things can happen and how to reconcile it all with the character of God. I went through something similar when my sister told me about her contracting HIV in Zambia. Struggling through questions of life and faith is a very healthy and beneficial experience.  We have many biblical examples of this (Jacob, Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Jonah to name a few). 

The week before mother's day, a friend from college and Deaf ministry was killed in a car accident. She was 26 years old, married to a worship pastor and has a two year old little boy. She was passionate for the Lord and full of joy. 

On a completely different note, in the past two months I have had TWO friends that have been accused of having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student. These were normal, usually responsible moms.  One of them was even named Teacher of the Year last year! When I see stories like this in the news, I think that person must be crazy to have done that! But when it is someone that you know and have been friends with since 4th grade, it makes you really wonder.  

I have questioned God. Why did this happen? How is this for the best of a two year old to grow up without his mom? What about the kids of the teachers that will find out someday about what their mom did? What about the spouses involved? What about the kids that were harmed? Is God truly good? How can normal people make such wrong decisions? Why do bad things happen to good people? 

God's Word has plenty to say about all of this.  

There is Evil in this world because of sin. We will have trouble and face heartache but Jesus has overcome it all!

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

We eagerly wait and groan and long for our eternal home in Heaven. 

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:22, 23 NIV84)

This world is not my home. Followers of Christ are called aliens and strangers in this world throughout the Bible. We do not belong here. Jesus is getting heaven ready for us! 

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2 NIV)

Heaven will be a place of no heartache, no evil, no tears, no pain, no sickness!

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3, 4 NIV)

I have been shaken up over the last year with so many BIG things going on. Yet I still wholeheartedly know my God is good, holy, omnipotent, omniscient and His ways cannot be explained to our feeble human minds. 

"You are good, and what you do is good... (Psalm 119:68 NIV)

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons;he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things;he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. (Daniel 2:20-22 NIV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 NIV)

Be encouraged and take heart! 

Magic Johnson and HIV

A few weeks ago I watched "The Announcement" about Magic Johnson sharing with the world his HIV+ status in 1991. It was really good; I recommend watching it if you are able to.  It got me doing some thinking...

That was 21 years ago; in just 21 years look how things have changed! And in that same amount of time, which is 2/3 of my lifetime, look at how little has changed. 

The reactions to his announcement by the media was kinda crazy to see.  They expected him to just shrivel up and die.  HIV is no longer a death sentence and it doesn't even mean that a person is guaranteed to get AIDS.  A good many people that are HIV+ live long and healthy lives and never actually develop AIDS!  This is an amazing fact! 

The amount of research and advancements in medications have been astounding considering the relatively short length of time that this virus has been around. Cases like my sister's are helping to prove that early treatment can truly make a difference. HIV+ women can even get pregnant and have babies without passing on the virus to their child with the right medications! 

People were so scared about contact with Magic Johnson back then and to some extent we continue to  see that today.  The stigma is still there, unfortunately.  You cannot "catch" HIV like a cold. It is not spread through snot, saliva, urine, or sweat. Normal interactions in a home, work or school environment are not risky. So many people just lack proper education, even after 21 years!  With such a technological society and with a vast amount of knowledge at our fingertips, you would think there would be no room left for ignorance. And yet, ignorance about HIV abounds...

As someone who is becoming very educated on this subject (since my sister has it), it's kinda funny the things I get bothered by.  One major thing that bothers me (that is just ignorance) is how some people use the terms HIV and AIDS interchangeably.

Another issue I have is that people are not being tested. There are many reasons I'm sure, some valid, some not. I think the majority of people just are in denial that it could happen to them and think they have no need to go get tested. Some people are just scared. Some just don't care.  There is free, anonymous and confidential testing available all over the USA...go get tested if you haven't before or haven't recently! 

It's interesting to me to think about how much I have changed in the midst of my sister's diagnosis. My sister posted a poem on her blog about the stigma that she has encountered and quotes me from near the beginning of all this saying, "I'd freak out if my kid's babysitter had HIV". Now it's hard to even remember feeling like that.  Yes, I'd want to know but I wouldnt "freak out." 

Education breaks down the stigma and allows us all to see people as who they really are, not just as a virus they carry. Thank you Magic Johhnson for continuing to educate the world and thank you Jessica for educating me (and everyone else you have touched with your blog)!

Stephanie

Resources and Organizations List

As promised, here is a list of resources and organizations that deal with the subjects of orphans, orphan care, HIV adoption, and human trafficking.

Take a few minutes to check out these links and see which ones you can be a part of through prayer, donations, spreading the word and educating others.

Adoption/Orphan Care
147 Million Orphans
Feeding the Orphans
Amazima Ministries (Kisses From Katie)
Ordinary Hero
Project Hopeful- HIV+ adoption
Positively Adopted- HIV+ adoption

Human Trafficking/Seeking Justice
International Justice Mission
Hagar International
Chab Dai
Polaris Project
Freeset
Not For Sale
Love146
Stop Child Trafficking Now

Let me end with this (emphasis mine), Micah 6:8 (ESV):

"He has told you, O man, what is good;

    and what does the Lord require of you

but to do justice, and to love kindness,

    and to walk humbly with your God?"

Blessed,

Stephanie

Undetectable!

Exciting news!  My sister's viral load is undetectable!  She still has HIV but it means that her treatment is working to lower her viral load, the amount the virus in her blood. Here are some answers from my sister Jessica's blog:

What is the Viral Load?

o       Viral load is the term used to describe the amount of HIV in your blood. The result of a viral load test is described as the number of 'copies' of HIV RNA per milliliter (copies/ml). The more HIV in your blood, the faster your CD4 cells (immune system cells that fight infection) reduce, and the greater your risk of developing symptoms in the next few years.

 What does it mean to have an Undetectable Viral Load?

o       The amount of HIV in your blood is so low that a viral load test can’t detect the virus. However, having an undetectable viral load doesn’t mean you’re cured. You still have HIV. And although having an undetectable viral load reduces the risk of HIV transmission, you can still infect another person with the virus.

Here is a great and simple depiction of what an undetectable viral load means.

And here is a great blog post by a mom that adopted a positive little girl.  This is an amazing family so check it out!

So blessed,

Stephanie

Updates on my sister

My sister Jessica went to Florida last week to meet the Director of the Peace Corp and hear him speak. She got the chance to meet him briefly and the next day spoke to a group of others that are going into the PeaceCorp. She is so brave to share her story and it is saving lives and preventing the spread of HIV. So proud of her! Read her recap of the events here.

Jessica hugging the Director after she told him why she was medically separated...

She also got results from recent lab work. Check it out here. So excited for good news!

I didn't blog this past week or do much of anything because I had a terrible migraine all week. Hoping this next week will be better!

Blessed,

Stephanie

HIV: it's not the end of the world...

In September 2011 I got a call that would shake up my entire world; a call that I thought at the time was the second worst thing that could happen to my family...my sister had contracted HIV while in Africa with the Peace Corps. You can read about how I handled this shocking news here.  

My sister Jessica was very sick and it took the doctors a couple of weeks to figure out what was wrong with her.  She was then flown back to the States and cared for in Washington D.C. Once released she moved to New York to rest and recover.  I'm happy to report that she is doing very well and is extremely strong!  

It has been a wild ride already with my family, especially since Christmas Eve.  That morning my sister decided to share her medical status with the "world" by sharing her blog and detailed story with Facebook. She couldn't have had a better idea! All of us who knew the secret felt such freedom, as did she. We were now able to speak up as advocates and educators to try and spread the word about transmission, protection, basic information and the fight against stigma. 

Despite all of the research I did (remember, I carry the dork gene), which brought such relief and comfort that this wasn't an immediate death sentence for Jessica, the whole situation was still just plain ol' scary! A day or two ago though I realized all of a sudden that the idea of my sister having HIV felt completely normal and not scary at all to me. When did that happen?!?!?? I am not really sure but I am glad it did because it has brought even more peace. Of course I still get sad thinking about the rejection she will face from others in certain situations, but I know she is strong and will work though those times.

The truth is that my sister is an amazing woman. The truth is she made some mistakes in her life.  The truth is so have I. The truth is that HIV is a disease that has no cure at the moment but with good treatment and taking care of oneself, she can probably outlive me!  

I will continue to do my part to educate others about HIV and battle the stigma.  Check out her awesome blog here.  It has already been read in 79 countries around the world! How amazing is that!?!?!?

Blessed beyond measure,

Stephanie