Darkness to Light Training

We recently had some training at work regarding protecting against, spotting and reporting sexual abuse. I thought it was very good and pertinent information to pass on in this day and time.  We certainly cannot walk around suspecting everyone and every situation but we do need to be educated and know what to look for. 

Current statistics are: 
1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before the age of 18
1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18

Information is from Darkness to Light and their website has so many helpful resources on it! So check it out! www.darkness2light.org. There are suggestions for reporting any suspicions on the website. 

Here are some practical ways to protect our kids and protect ourselves as we interact with kids:
Reduce the number of one-adult/one-child situations
Have multiple adults supervise
Monitor Internet use
Evaluate adults that are close with the family
Adult interaction with children should be in public places
Require background checks or screenings for adults/organizations kids are involved in
Drop in unexpectedly
Ask specifics about outings if your child is going with an adult
Talk with child after being with an adult and notice mood and behavior
Be direct; talk to other adults about being aware of abuse 
Teach kids it's not good to keep secrets with adults; teach proper boundaries and about private parts
If a child starts to share, don't freak out!  Listen quietly and calmly so they don't shut down. 

Some common signs of abuse (Obviously any of these alone does not necessarily mean there is a problem. When several of these are present, use common sense to look into it further): 
Sudden and extreme changes in behavior
UTIs, infections and STDs 
Not wanting to go to school when they used to enjoy it
Depressed/hurting their self
Nightmares
Bed wetting
Derogatory self-talk
Sexual experimenting/sexual language (that is beyond their developmental level)
Use of drugs/alcohol

With this information we can be better stewards and protectors of the children in our lives.

Homeschool Planning 2012-2013

I have begun to plan our first "official" homeschool year: kindergarten. I am super excited and may possibly be going a little overboard.  ;) There is an incredible amount of information, resources and free printables out there! We also have an insane amount of awesome iPad apps that are educational and fun (and most are free)! 

I keep going back and forth between using an all-inclusive bought curriculum and just collecting various resources to cover the subjects and skills required. I am pretty sure I will be doing the latter.  I just cannot justify paying for curriculum for kindergarten when so much is available for free and the core standards are easily met by these mostly free resources. I am gathering several extensive lists of standards/what a kindergartner should know. I will use the core standards to make sure we cover everything expected. 

I do have some purchased items that I've gathered in the past. A couple of years ago I bought Hooked on Phonics Kindergarten because I had an awesome coupon code and couldn't pass it up. We have used it a little and Nehemiah enjoys it. I also have a used copy of Teach your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons.  Nehemiah has not enjoyed the 10-15 lessons we have done so far in that book (because of the redundancy and it being stuff he already knew). He has the basics of reading down already just by us reading a lot and practicing words together. He can sound out CVC words and knows many sight words. I am not sure which program I am going to use for reading yet. I know I need to decide and stick to it! We will also continue to "play" www.starfall.com. 

For organizing and gathering worksheets, I am starting by making a manilla folder for each week of the school year (36 weeks, 36 folders). I will be doing all of my printing and laminating at once and file it according to which week we will use it. Today I made a board on Pinterest titled Kindergarten and repinned some things out of my general Homeschool board. I also bought a new ink cartridge for the printer because I'm going to need it!  :) 

I'll update every so often to share how I am coming along in my plans, in case anyone is interested. If you are a teacher or homeschooler and have tips, advice or resources please pass them along to me! Thanks in advance!

Adoption: Square One

We are still at square one pretty much. I have not updated lately on adoption because there isn't really anything new to write.

We are praying about whether to pursue domestic or international adoption and if internationally, which country God is leading us to. We are also needing direction on which agency to use. There are so many great ones! We of course need direction when the time comes to know what child is right for our family and circumstances.

We are continuing to save money, cut back on expenses and stick to our budget so that when we have some clear direction we will have a financial head start.

Please join us in praying through these decisions. We know God will show us what we need to do at the right time!

Thanks!

My Response to Anonymous

Anonymous,

Thank you for commenting. I appreciate the fact that we have free speech and you're entitled to having your own opinion. I think, however that you may have misunderstood that this was not a rant about the sin of others, but a sharing of my heart and the burden and questioning I have felt in grappling with these situations (along with various other situations and events around the world). I'd like to address a few issues that you brought up. 

Never did I call anyone out on sin. In fact I almost changed the name of the post to "heartache and evil in this world" immediately after I posted since I never really touched on the idea of sin.  The only mention of sin is that evil entered the world because of sin. You are, in fact the one who named my sister and the two teachers as having sinned. Personally, I think that is between each of them and God. 

I did say I have seen devastation in the world around me due to wrong choices.

I did say, "how can normal people make such wrong choices?" and in this case I was thinking of my friends that are teachers and their situations.  I do not think it was too bold to imply a sexual relationship with a child is wrong. I cannot think of anyone who would not agree with the immorality of a sexual relationship with a child. Pertaining to these situations, I have wondered what my friends have struggled with and how they must have been hurting to lead them to make a choice like that. I have wondered about their husbands and if their marriages will be reconciled.  I hurt for them and for the hurt that has been multiplied to all involved. 

You have attacked me as if my whole post was about my sister but this actually had nothing to do with Jessica. I simply mentioned that I had a similar time of questioning and soul searching when she was sick. I neither said nor implied any of those horrible things you assumed I think. I also have not thought or felt those things personally. I do not appreciate you telling me what I think. Ex: you think God is punishing your sister.  No actually I don't.  My sister and I have a great relationship and you should read the things we have written regarding each other on our blogs. Here, here and here. 

Regarding your comments on sin being sin and equal: I agree that all sin is equal in God's eyes and it separates us from God.  We ALL have sinned and continue to mess up (see Romans 3:23). On earth we do not always see the consequences of some sins, others we do.  Other times God waits until the day that person stands before him, giving the person every chance to turn from a life of sin. I would never presume to name something specifically as being the punishment of God.  I am not God, nor do I pretend to be. Only he holds the power to judge and punish. My post was not judging anyone, but your comment is full of judgements and assumptions about me, my relationship with Jessica and my theology/beliefs. 

I agree that God is good and wants good for people. When a person asks for forgiveness, God removes their sin "as far as the east is from the west" and justifies them in his eyes. God freely forgives and loves. "The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2 Peter 3:9 NIV)

Theoretical question: Suppose a man kills your mother in a burglary. You go to court to see justice done. Evidence is presented and the man is guilty without any doubt. When time for the judge to make a judgement, he announces that the man simply gets community service and is free to go. You protest but the judge explains that all crimes get the same equal consequence to be fair because all crimes are equal. Is this judge good and just? No, obviously not, but according to your statement this would make the judge "truly just." This would not ever be true justice. 

I agree that one of the deepest human needs is to love and be loved. I am so thankful for a loving and compassionate God that has forgiven me of all of my sin and failures and continues to do so. In the case of my sister, I was among some of the first people she told and I have been nothing but supportive and loving towards her. I think she is amazing and brave (as I've said many times). 

In regards to the two teachers: I clearly stated that they are friends and have been since childhood. They still are.  If I were living locally, I would be reaching out in more tangible ways than just through email. I wish so badly to just hug them! In fact I have had this post floating around in my head for a week but couldn't gather my thoughts until the 22nd, which is one of these women's birthday.  I prayed she would have a stress-free, joyful birthday despite all that is going on. 

Why do bad things happen to good people? This is a common question that baffles our human mind. You must have assumed that I was not including my teacher friends in with the "good people" part of this question, but I did. They are good women, excellent teachers and wonderful moms! 

I am genuinely sorry for the hurt and pain you have suffered in the past that was made worse by people who claimed to be Christians.  I am sorry that they made you feel you were terrible and unlovely. If they made you feel like that then they were not responding as Jesus would have. Unfortunately, this happens often in this fallen world. I wish with all of my being that this was never the case. 

My hope is that this further explanation would clarify some of my thoughts in my post. 

Heartache and Sin

My heart is aching. 

There has been much tragedy recently among people I know, as well as devastation due to wrong choices. This has caused me to reflect on and evaluate life, faith and this world. I have been in a sort of crisis of faith. Not in the sense of losing my faith in God but in wrapping my mind around how these things can happen and how to reconcile it all with the character of God. I went through something similar when my sister told me about her contracting HIV in Zambia. Struggling through questions of life and faith is a very healthy and beneficial experience.  We have many biblical examples of this (Jacob, Moses, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Jonah to name a few). 

The week before mother's day, a friend from college and Deaf ministry was killed in a car accident. She was 26 years old, married to a worship pastor and has a two year old little boy. She was passionate for the Lord and full of joy. 

On a completely different note, in the past two months I have had TWO friends that have been accused of having an inappropriate sexual relationship with a student. These were normal, usually responsible moms.  One of them was even named Teacher of the Year last year! When I see stories like this in the news, I think that person must be crazy to have done that! But when it is someone that you know and have been friends with since 4th grade, it makes you really wonder.  

I have questioned God. Why did this happen? How is this for the best of a two year old to grow up without his mom? What about the kids of the teachers that will find out someday about what their mom did? What about the spouses involved? What about the kids that were harmed? Is God truly good? How can normal people make such wrong decisions? Why do bad things happen to good people? 

God's Word has plenty to say about all of this.  

There is Evil in this world because of sin. We will have trouble and face heartache but Jesus has overcome it all!

Jesus said, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33 NIV)

We eagerly wait and groan and long for our eternal home in Heaven. 

"We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. (Romans 8:22, 23 NIV84)

This world is not my home. Followers of Christ are called aliens and strangers in this world throughout the Bible. We do not belong here. Jesus is getting heaven ready for us! 

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you." (John 14:2 NIV)

Heaven will be a place of no heartache, no evil, no tears, no pain, no sickness!

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:3, 4 NIV)

I have been shaken up over the last year with so many BIG things going on. Yet I still wholeheartedly know my God is good, holy, omnipotent, omniscient and His ways cannot be explained to our feeble human minds. 

"You are good, and what you do is good... (Psalm 119:68 NIV)

“Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his. He changes times and seasons;he sets up kings and deposes them. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. He reveals deep and hidden things;he knows what lies in darkness, and light dwells with him. (Daniel 2:20-22 NIV)

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8, 9 NIV)

Be encouraged and take heart! 

The wonders of Grapefruit seed extract

I thought I'd share a product I love with you all!

Most of my life I have gotten chronic sinus infections...usually every other month! I was so sick of being sick!

A few months ago, both my mom and sister-in-law suggested a grapefruit seed extract supplement to help with sinus troubles. I am always up for trying natural remedies. Grapefruit seed extract (GSE) is said to possess antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties. Before I had time to look into it much further, my SIL sent Nutribiotic nasal spray with GSE. I began to use it daily. That was probably January. I have not been sick since using it.

Here is some info I found about GSE...of course, with any information online you need to research further and talk with your doctor before making any changes to your medical routine.

Grapefruit Seed Extract is associated with the following potential health benefits:
"Powerful natural antiseptic.
Antiviral and anti-fungal agent.
Possible anti-cancer properties.
Promotes the healing of wounds and scar tissue.
Possible cholesterol-lowering properties due to the presence of the flavanoid naringin (a well-known plasma lipid reducer and plasma antioxidant activator).
Excellent remedy for toenail fungal infections.
Treatment for sinus, vaginal and topical skin infections.
Evironmentally-friendly fruit and vegetable wash for removing toxins.
Effective preventative for Candida and other forms of yeast infection.
Inhibits the formation of harmful intestinal organisms, including Giardia, without reducing levels of healthy bowel flora.
Acts as a natural preservative for cosmetics.
Can replace chlorine in swimming pools, public baths, water and sewage treatment centers, and it also used as a general water-purifying mechanism.
May reduce chances of developing coronary heart disease in high-risk patients due to high pectin content in Grapefruit seed extract.
Possible anti-biotic activity.
Aids to alkalize the body, and is one of the world's most alkaline forming foods, helping to stabilize acidic pH levels, a central component for health rejuvenation.
Great general immune system booster."

I also regularly use a neti pot, this helps tremendously.

I hope by passing this information on, it may help someone else. ;)

Small changes

So just a quick update on how my new approach is going.  See this post if you missed it. 

So far I have been making a good start towards tracking my eating.  I have not done it everyday.  I can definitely tell that I eat much better on the days that I do track.  I deliberately consider each food and portion instead of stuffing my face eating carelessly. One helpful tool I like to use is an app called my fitness pal.  You can track calories as well as activity.  I especially like the scan feature where I can scan a barcode on a food item and it pulls it up in their database!  At the end of a day you can pick "complete this day" and it will tell you that if you continue to eat like this particular day how much you'd weigh in 5 weeks.  Kinda cool and very encouraging! There are many other helpful tools out there similar to this...find what works for you!

I have also been eating out less at restaurants and cooking at home.  GASP! I know, hard to believe right???? Conveniently though, we have decided to put our vast Dave Ramsey knowledge into practice this month and live on a cash/envelope system with our money.  We have loosely followed his principles for years but haven't ever quite made it to using cash and sticking to "when the envelope is empty, you can't have/do that." Amazing concept don't ya think??? That's kind of how Americans have gotten into this economic crisis...spending what we don't have...but that's a whole other issue!

I am going to continue to track my foods and eat out less.  I am going to try to increase my water intake and take a walk each day.  I'll aim to periodically update on how I am doing at making these small changes and hopefully we will see some improvement in my health!

My New Approach

I am an all or nothing kind of girl. Right or wrong. Pass or fail. Win or lose. 

NO IN BETWEEN. 

This can be a good thing.  It's how God made me.  I can usually see right through a facade.  I can usually hear about a situation or decision that needs to be made and pinpoint what needs to happen (the exception is when it is my own situation- ha!). 

The downside is I get fired up over anything I see as wrong.  It can be something minor and I get downright angry as if someone's life depended on it! Another problem with this is I have perfectionist tendencies and when I see myself as failing at something I just quit. If I can't do it right, I'd rather not do it at all. I frustrate myself to no end. 

This has manifested itself in my weight-loss approach.  When I slip up once, I just give up. I know it isn't logical but I'm just being honest here. 

So I have decided that instead of going on a complete health overhaul all at once (which I would fail and quit AGAIN), this time I have made a list of small changes that I can implement slowly over time and build on.  This is not a new concept.  I have seen friends use this same approach.  One amazing friend, named Clara, has lost 100 lbs! Check out her blog here. 

Here is my list I came up with so far: 

Increase Water intake
Park further away
Play actively
Move more
Cut out sweet tea/soda
Cut out after dinner snacking
Less Internet time
Stretch daily
Weigh in weekly
Portion control
Cook at home
Less eating out at restaurants
Track food/calories
Healthy snacks
Healthy breakfast
Healthy lunch
Healthy dinner
30 minutes of cardio/day
60 minutes of cardio/day
Get 5 servings of fruits and vegetables

My plan is to focus on one or two of these changes each week.  When I get consistent at them, then I add on another one. 

What other changes would you add to my list? 

Dream come true!

Ever since I was little, I said I wanted seven kids.

Now I have them! Lol, be careful what you ask for! ;)

We work as cottage parents at the Louisiana Baptist Children's Home and this past week got brothers placed with us. This brings the total in our house now to 7 boys from ages 3-17!

We thank God that these new kids are so well behaved and relatively easy compared to what it could be like right now!

We are depending on Him for strength each day and exhausted by the time everyone heads to bed.

Enjoy your kids today, no matter how many you have and no matter if they are biological, adopted, fostered, or just loved by you!

Goodbye Russia, Hello Sanity!

I have been taking an impromptu blogging break the past month, in case you hadn't noticed. I didn't mean to, I just had nothing to say.  I tried several times to get my thoughts straight but I couldn't.  Part of the reason was busyness.  Part of the reason was because I have been grieving.  Grieving my idea and dream to adopt from Russia.  We really felt like that was where God was leading us but it turns out that won't be possible right now. 

You see, one thing I struggle with is depression.  And one thing that Russia doesn't accept is mental illness of any sort, including depression.  So about the beginning of February I started weaning off of my medicine and decided I could be "spiritual" enough to not need meds.  The agency we wanted to work with said if I had a letter from the doctor explaining that I wasn't on any antidepressants now then we could adopt there.  I just had to make it roughly 2 yrs without medication while in the adoption process.  I really thought I could...I was wrong. 

Now depression is a sticky issue among some Christians.  Some well-meaning people insist it is a spiritual issue and that you must repent or fill your life with more of God. Some people say medication is the way to fix it all. I don't think medication alone is the answer. I honestly think for some people it can improve without medication if it isn't a brain chemical issue.  Throughout February and March I came to realize my depression was definitely a chemical issue as well as a spiritual issue.  I listened to tons of sermons and Christian broadcasts. I read my Bible anytime I felt anxiety, anger and irritability. I did lots of thinking, praying and talking out my issues.  This all helped greatly, don't get me wrong but I was still in a downward spiral. 

I finally had to come to grips with the fact that we had to let go of the Russia plan.  So, here we are back at what feels like square one.  We are going to adopt, but we have no clue from where as of right now.  We would appreciate your prayers as we seek God's direction in adoption. I have been feeling like He is holding us back to wait for a reason and that it'll all be apparent as to why further down the road.  

You'll be happy to know I am on medication again and feeling almost normal. ;) Haha, whatever normal is!  Another realization I've had is this: it is easy to block out your "issues" when the antidepressants make you feel better, but those issues need to be dealt with or else you won't ever heal completely. Medication can easily become a mask that hides the symptoms but never uncovers the root of the problem.  God is the Ultimate Healer of all, and sees into the deepest part of our heart to discover our hurts and gently draw us to Himself!